


In Safety

by IcyKali



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, Old Married Couple, Screenplay/Script Format, Unimaginable sappiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyKali/pseuds/IcyKali
Summary: After reading a short story about what it means to be in exile, Bashir and Garak share one of their literary lunch debates as an old married couple. As usual, they end up discussing far more than the text.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	In Safety

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Little Achievements](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26073979) by [almaasi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/almaasi/pseuds/almaasi). 



> This work draws heavy inspiration from almaasi's beautiful "Little Achievements!" I pictured this story being set after it, when Bashir returns home. The short story Bashir and Garak are discussing in this fic is Chekov's "In Exile." It is not necessary to read that story to fully enjoy this fic, but it could add some additional context!

_Bashir and Garak are settling down at their little table in the garden, the space dedicated to their literary lunch debates.  
  
_

BASHIR: Did you know I wanted to hear your opinion on this short story back on Deep Space Nine, before the War?  
  
GARAK: Really? Tell me, Doctor, what was it that stopped you in your tracks? 

BASHIR: _(Glaring)_ Garak. It wouldn’t have been very appropriate for me to have given you Chekov’s “In Exile” back then. You know that.   
  


_Garak sniffs primly.  
  
_

GARAK: And yet you made me read _Giovanni’s Room_. 

BASHIR: I’ve apologized for that debacle about a hundred times by now! And it was only fair after you made me suffer through all of those propagandistic stories instead of telling me about the Cardassian party line outright—it was fair game for me to try and trick you into openly criticising the State!  
  
GARAK: I never had any reservations about criticising the Terran State.  
  
BASHIR: You know very well what I mean. The institution, the general concept. _(Pause.)_ Anyway, why have you still not forgiven me for that mistake?  
  
GARAK: My dear Julian, of course I’ve forgiven you! I’ve told you many times that I will always forgive you. 

BASHIR: But then why continually bring it up—I see. You enjoyed that novel, but you’re not going to say so. You’re only going to imply it. Is that it? 

GARAK: My dear doctor, there is hope for you yet!  
  


_They smile at each other.  
  
_

BASHIR: You’re free to tell me “I love you” instead of “there is hope for you yet” if you’d like. I know that’s what it means, and we _have_ been married for over a decade. 

GARAK: _(Emotional)_ We’ve been married for over a decade?! I am married to my dear Julian?! Please, remind me again! Don’t keep me in suspense!  
  
BASHIR: Well, you’ll have to earn it first by getting to the point and explaining what you thought of “In Exile,” my dear Mister Garak. 

GARAK: Ah, I’d best not keep you waiting then, Julian! It was quite the disheartening read. 

BASHIR: I’m surprised we’ve found a point we agree on so quickly. 

GARAK: I suppose it’s difficult to settle on any other reading. Surely both the Tartar’s and Mister Vasily Sergeyevich’s issues are readily apparent. And as for Old Simeon, his greatest flaw was believing in a fate for him to spite! He may be known as _Tolkovy_ by the other men of the oar, but there is nothing smart or canny about him. Rather, he is the epitome of the blind leading the blind. It was quite the disappointment to watch the Tartar snap at him and his cronies, only for him to miss the mark with his every criticism! Even in a comedy of errors I’d hoped for some catharsis, Doctor. 

BASHIR: You don’t have the right to complain about a lack of catharsis after the texts you’ve given me, Garak. And why do you think Simeon’s greatest flaw was his belief in some greater, outside force? 

GARAK: You know very well that Cardassians believe in neither luck nor fate. 

BASHIR: But they used to be deeply mystical, just like the Terran culture Chekov was a part of. 

GARAK: Wherever did you get an idea like that?  
  
BASHIR: From you, Garak! You told me!  
  
GARAK: Did I? Even if you are correct, my reading remains unchanged. Simeon refuses to help himself because he is so intent on getting back at fate for determining his exile, when if he were to understand that there is nothing to get back at, he might still have a few teeth. 

BASHIR: But surely you noticed the subtle jabs at the rulings of the State throughout the story, Garak. Even if there’s no such thing as fate, some power had these men exiled.

GARAK: There are always people with power pulling strings, Doctor. That is not fate. 

BASHIR: How can you say that when we have unequivocal evidence that beings like the Q exist? Q even visited Deep Space Nine.  
  
GARAK: Again, that is simply another example of powerful beings pulling at others’ strings. _(Wistfully)_ It truly is a shame to bear witness to how close Simeon came to understanding how to conduct himself during his exile. He was right to not want for anything, right to put survival above all. But because he was eager to rebel against this nonexistent fate and the so-called devil, he survived poorly. For much of my own exile, I knew better than to let myself sink to the level of being petulant toward those more powerful. And then when you came into my life, my dear Julian, I had to accept that I was capable of growth and that a man with more power and mobility than I could treat me with kindness. I had to cede to your judgment, my dear, and it was the right thing to do. But for the period of time that I tried to rebel against you, and by extension against my own worth, I am deeply sorry. 

BASHIR: Garak, what are you saying?  
  
GARAK: That I only know better than Simeon because, in the face of hope, I made his same grave mistake. I could have seriously injured you when I attempted to throttle you during my withdrawal! I didn’t know you were enhanced! Even if I never hurt you physically, I still feel terrible for how I treated you at the time. 

BASHIR: It’s all right. That was one of the things I forgave you for, when we touched palms for the first of many times. And… I know I didn’t acknowledge this out loud at the time, but you did figure out that I realized how much you loved me in that moment, didn’t you? You were spinning story after story to try and convince me to turn my back on you, and when that didn’t work, you tried your hardest to insult me. And what did you come up with? _(Bashir laughs.)_ That lunch with me was the light of your life! That you enjoyed looking at my face! And paired with those statements, I knew what that profession of “hatred” really was.   
  


_Garak relaxes, sinking into his chair.  
  
_

GARAK: Thank goodness some of those novels I lent you had romantic subplots. But as I was saying, I had to learn to give in to you in order to withstand my exile. We were both led to the station by others’ machinations, but you were above me in several senses of the word.

BASHIR: _(Amused)_ Oh, but not all the time. 

GARAK: _(Garak ignores the interjection.)_ Had I given in to my own despair, I never would have let myself bring you chocolates and flowers after I recovered from withdrawal. I would have turned away from your light and ended up like Simeon. In him, I see what I could have become had I not recognized the influence of individuals upon my life and refused to submit to your compassion. Tell me, my dear, what do you think?

BASHIR: _(Warmly)_ What I think is that you should let me talk for a while, Garak. It’s ironic that you’re ascribing such power to me, and that you’re always trying to bask in my warmth while rubbing your pit organs against my skin, considering that in Terran culture the etymology of “Elim” meant “god” or “gods!”   
  
GARAK: Julian, are you implying that you worship me? 

BASHIR: First of all, “Elim” was _short_ for it, so I’m sure you’d only be some minor deity. Certainly not worthy of my worship. Secondly, I’m an atheist.  
  
  
 _Garak makes a face at him.  
  
_

BASHIR: Oh, don’t be that way! Listen, Garak… the truth is, there’s only one Elim I believe in, and that’s you.

GARAK: I am touched.  
  
BASHIR: I bet you are. You know, even if there is no such thing as fate or destiny, you have to admit that it was unlikely for the two of us to meet and influence each other in this way.  
  
GARAK: My dear doctor, unlikely things happen every day. Even wonderful, glorious, life-changing unlikely events take place all the time! 

BASHIR: Then what do you make of Chekhov invoking the image of the serpent when he describes the burning of the distant field as snakes of fire, rising into the sky? Why make the black barge out to be some giant, shadowy, antediluvian creature roaring as it breaks the ice, its oars moving like legs? He’s invoking the image of the beast, but always in connection with human labor! It’s a series of individual choices to slave away for some corrupt purpose that led to Siberia being hell for those men, and it was a series of individual choices and our dedication to our own ideals that allowed us to meet and improve each other’s lives. Who’s to say that something like destiny, that greater machinations can’t come out of the subjectivity of individuals? And, accepting that, if they could have seen where destiny came from in the first place, they could have done something to change it for the better!

GARAK: Doctor, in what way could that possibly be destiny? 

BASHIR: Because it’s an emergent quality. It’s hidden from view. If the men in “In Exile” could have seen how that track they got on was constructed, maybe they could have done something to dismantle it even though it is much bigger than they are. We always have more control that we think, Garak. We shouldn’t call it “petulant” to rebel. It’s the right thing to do, and the fact that nobody tried to do that in “In Exile” was the real tragedy. And you should know this already! I had to rebel to become your friend, save your life, and come to Cardassia with you. This blissful existence wouldn’t be playing out without a large dose of rebellion!   
  


_Bashir directs a smug look at Garak, who just looks askance adjusts his clothing.  
  
_

GARAK: You don’t have to do this, you know. 

BASHIR: Er… what? 

GARAK: I know you missed me, and I certainly missed you dearly while you were away, but you don’t have to play this game.  
  
BASHIR: I thought there were _always_ games. 

GARAK: My dear doctor, you know very well that what I mean is that you don’t need to put this much effort into cheering me up. I’d be just as happy to bask in your presence as I would be to flirt. Look at you, you’re utterly spent! You haven’t even touched your food!   
  
BASHIR: If I remember correctly, you’re the one who spouted all those transparent lies about what you thought of the story first, Garak! _(He grumbles.)_ Touting giving in… as if you didn’t regularly exercise your subjectivity and rebel on DS9—to an infuriating degree, might I add! As if I wouldn’t remember patching you up and comforting you after each round of extortion!

GARAK: I was only lying and imitating one of your rambles because I was giving you time to scarf down your lunch, and even to “sneakily” steal some of my own! I was trying to treat you, Doctor!   
  


_Bashir smiles despite himself, finally allowing himself to relax as much as Garak.  
  
_

BASHIR: Well, if we’re going to remove all the romance from our relationship this afternoon, I guess I should just openly admit that I didn’t mean a word of what I said about rebellion? Is that what you want me to do?  
  
GARAK: _(Bowing his head)_ In the name of your continued mental health and presence, my dear, I would accept even the most pragmatic and unromantic of lunch dates. I would even call our lunch date off. 

BASHIR: That’s easy for you to say. You’re the one who’s happy to use me as Doctor Basking Rock for an entire day. Is this really about me?

GARAK: Yes, Julian. I know you went through a lot in the process of accepting your incredibly well-earned Carrington award. I want you to understand that achieving nothing, yet appreciating everything also includes appreciating when it’s time to simply _rest_.  
  


_Bashir takes a deep breath and gazes up at the sky, still as dimly-lit in the afternoon as golden hour on earth would be.  
  
_

BASHIR: Elim. It warms my heart to see you fret over me this way, but I knew this already. I mean, I may have wanted to reward you for helping me put things back into perspective while I was away by initiating a nice, long debate, and maybe it would’ve been better for me to rest first, I’ll admit that—but mostly I was eager enough to argue that I forgot to steal the food off your plate because I’ve been happier and more enthused than I have been in years! 

GARAK: I’m afraid I don’t follow?  
  
BASHIR: How would you feel to know I was lying from the beginning? I never actually agreed with you about “In Exile” being disheartening! It was an _inspiring_ read! 

GARAK: _(Eyes wide)_ My dear Julian, there is hope for you yet! 

BASHIR: _(Softly)_ There’s hope for you yet, too. _(He returns to his exuberant tone.)_ When I read “In Exile” back on DS9 in the early years, it was a dark time in my life. I saw myself as a coward who ran away from earth to unsuccessfully run away from himself. I felt like Vasily Sergeyevich, riding out to try the same old failed method again and again in order to restore some semblance of joy to his sorry life. But after you gave me that inspiring speech the other day, I thought of the “In Exile” again, and realized how uplifting it really is!  
  


_Garak is blinking rapidly, trying to follow the patented Bashir ramble.  
  
_

BASHIR: The main characters in the story couldn’t see it, but we’re the readers. We’re outside the narrative, and we can learn from the negative examples they set. Simeon teaches us: don't give into despair out of spite or disregard what little control you do have over your life. Instead, use what subjectivity you do have to be comfortable. The Tartar teaches us: don't fall into patterns of magical thinking and pine for the unobtainable. Instead, look at what you do have and how you could improve incrementally. And finally, Sergeyevich teaches us: don't try the same failing strategy over and over in an attempt to win back what you lost. Instead, pursue new methods that are more likely to work. All my life, I used to curse the fact that the only reason I became the person I am was because of what my parents did to me. No choice I made felt real, Garak. None of them… until I chose to be with you. Until I chose us.

GARAK: But, Julian… why would that choice be the first…? 

BASHIR: Because I loved you enough that I couldn’t bring myself to care about any of the outside forces that had led the two of us to that point in our lives. And only once I stopped caring, could I finally be myself. Only once I stopped caring could I see the positive in “In Exile.” _(Pause.)_ Well… what do you think?   
  


_They hold each other’s gaze._   
  


GARAK: ...I believe, my dear Julian… that I still prefer Chekov’s “At Christmastime.” Such brevity compared to “In Exile!” 

BASHIR: ...My dear Elim, I’m not about to give you the satisfaction of hearing me tell you you’re infuriating. 

GARAK: I know, my dear Julian. I know.


End file.
